


All Bards Love A Good Tale

by commandershakarian



Series: The Witcher [2]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Non-Canon Relationship, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 04:08:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11372259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commandershakarian/pseuds/commandershakarian
Summary: Eskel is bored on his journey with his friends, fellow witcher Lambert and the sorceress Sigrid. That is, until Dandelion joins the party. Then he decides to have a little fun at Lambert's expense.





	All Bards Love A Good Tale

Eskel watched Sigrid leave the herbalist’s tent that had been set up for her use. Whenever she traveled with the witchers, she always slept wherever she worked, sometimes even napping in the middle of whatever she was brewing. It was something that Eskel had asked about once and Lambert told him that it wasn’t his business so he’d dropped it. Since starting their journey, Lambert and Eskel had picked up some friends along the way. Unfortunately, Dandelion was one of them.

Even now, he noticed Siggy return to Lambert’s side, a pouch of herbs in her hand for whatever was ailing him this time.

“Ah, a lovely sight for tired eyes.” The sound of Dandelion’s voice reached where Eskel sat by the fire. The bard was running a finger over his lute as his eyes looked Sigrid’s form up and down. The sorceress didn’t cover herself up much. She usually wore low cut dresses that showed off exactly what she had. Lambert was extremely protective of the fiery haired woman, however. He had started brawls over smaller things than a man looking at the woman he loved. It seemed Dandelion hadn’t been given the memo.

* * *

 

“Do you mean the witch?” Eskel asked, unable to help himself. He may know better not to anger his friend, but why should he miss out on this opportunity? He had to get some entertainment  _somewhere_. “She’s gorgeous, but too dangerous for the likes of you.”

Dandelion turned to glance at the witcher, curiosity clearly winning out over any hesitation. “How so?”

“Well-” Eskel adjusted his posture so that he could lean against the fallen tree behind him. The fire crackled at the center of camp, only feet from where the older man rested. Dandelion had been drinking some of the shittiest ale that Eskel was sure he’d ever tasted, but it didn’t stop them from getting drunk. The witcher’s eerie eyes glanced towards the spot where Siggy stood, her back to the fire. “Rumor was she killed a man in Novigrad and used his innards in a spell to curse his family.”

Dandelion grimaced, the image clearly entering his mind. “That’s horrid.”

Eskel shrugged and ripped his bread in half. “It’s what I’ve heard.”

The bard scoffed. “I don’t believe you.”

“Ask Lambert.” Eskel returned to acting like the conversation bored him, but he could feel Dandelion’s eyes on him.

“What does he know?”

Eskel had to keep from smiling at the question. That was the problem with bards- they could never resist a good tale. “More than I do. He is the one who found her.”

“Is there a reason she’s going to Kaer Morhen? Is she going to be a witcher? A  _woman_  witcher?” Dandelion sounded almost excited, as if that increased his odds of sleeping with the wild beauty.

“That’s the rumor.” Eskel muttered before stuffing a chunk of the loaf into his mouth. It was the only way he could keep from laughing.

Dandelion seemed to mull his decision over. On one hand, the beautiful woman in front of him was deadly, possibly having killed a man because it pleased her. On the other, she was gorgeous and she seemed to be wild in more ways than appearance. Eskel knew this must have been a terribly hard choice for him, but the fact that he knew something Dandelion didn’t made it all the more worth it.

“If I may interrupt what I’m assuming are most  _interesting_  thoughts, I’d like to add that I have accurate knowledge that she is a thorough and satisfying lover.”

Dandelion cleared his throat with a finality that Eskel would have admired if he wasn’t already counting the seconds until Lambert ripped his head off. After taking a long drink from the cup in his hand, the bard placed it on the ground before finding his feet. Eskel stretched his legs out and waited.

He could hear Dandelion ask Lambert for the witch’s name before asking if the rumors were true and she was going to be a witcher. Lambert seemed confused at the inquiry, clearly having not heard these whispers. After he assured Dandelion that wasn’t the case, Eskel smiled when the man asked if he could be introduced to Sigrid.

Lambert’s eyebrows came together, but he said nothing. Instead, he called Sigrid over and introduced her to Dandelion, still unsure of what was happening.

Eskel clearly heard what took place next.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, milady.” Dandelion said, a handsome smirk below the stupid mustache and beard combination he proudly wore. “May I ask you what your plans for this evening are?”

Sigrid looked more confused than Lambert was. “I was probably going to sleep. It’s been a long day.  _Why_  do you ask?”

“Perhaps you’d like to spend the night getting to know me better?”

When Dandelion pressed a kiss to the woman’s hand however, it dawned on Lambert what was happening. He put his hand on Dandelion’s shoulder and forcibly moved the man away from the sorceress.

Eskel let out a whoop of a laugh at the distraught look on Dandelion’s face.

“That’s my  _wife_  you are speaking to.” Lambert growled, his cat-like eyes flashing angrily. He had one hell of a temper.

“Y-your wife? I-  _How_ -”

“You might want to stop making words before things get worse for you.” Lambert snapped, barely holding onto his temper. “Leave before I change my mind and take your head, that stupid hat and all.”

Dandelion’s eyes widened and he hurried away, not wanting to find out if the witcher’s threats would come true.

Sigrid looked just as confused as she had before. Then she glared at Lambert as if she just realized what he’d said. “We aren’t married, Lambert.”

Lambert grunted. “We might as well be.”

Eskel could no longer hold his laughter in. He clutched his sides and fell to the ground, his laughs echoing in the silent valley around them. Lambert shook his head, but there was a small smile on his lips.

Eskel couldn’t wait to tell Angharad.


End file.
